Welcome to a new segment of The 5th Wheel. The first installment in this series of ten questions begins with the incomparable, Dr. James Henry (Scroll down and click on "Read More" for the rest of the story). (Henry's answers will be in bold and the editorial comments in Blue. Stay tuned after the Q&A to read about the "Making of: Intimate Conversations.")
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5THWHEEL: Hello there. Thank you so much for participating in the interview this afternoon.
HENRY: (awkward silence)
5THWHEEL: OK... let's get on with it. What's your first name?
HENRY: Doctor. (You're a doctor? Of music??? What can you do as a doctor of music? "Oh doctor? My Tenor section has a case of the flat 3rds. What can you prescribe to help them sing in tune?")
5THWHEEL: What's your last name(Maiden)?
HENRY: Henry, but enough with the formality; just call me "Captain Fantastic." (Yikes! I'm sorry I asked! I think you need to keep that between you and your wife, bro.)
5THWHEEL: Gender?
HENRY: Gender?!? I hardly even KNEW 'er! (Ha, Ha, Ha! Who says vaudeville is dead!) (Nobody did. However, local revue impresario Fuller was constantly mis-quoted. What he really said was, "Vaudeville is gone, never to return.")
5THWHEEL: What are some of the barbershop groups that you constantly listen to on your iPod?
HENRY: My favorite barbershop groups include the Hi-Lo's, the Boswell Sisters, Tony Bennett, and Metropolis (post 2004--not a big fan before that) (Them's fightin' words...)
5THWHEEL: Lead singer Joe Connelly has almost as many gold medals by himself than your entire quartet put together. Does that threaten you?
HENRY: Joe Connelly. . . . Joe Connelly. . . . . I have to say I'm not really familiar with his work. I'm sure he's very good though. (Oh... I understand. Truly I do. Let me help jog your memory. He was the Lead of the quartet, Keepsake that beat YOUR quartet, Gas House Gang in the 1992 International Competition. OH YES!!! IN YOUR FACE!!! Touché!!!)
5THWHEEL: Due to jealousy and low self-esteem, The 5th Wheel has gone out of its way to spread vicious and outlandish rumors regarding your quartet, Crossroads. Unfortunately, you are four of the nicest guys in the Society, so nobody believes us. Can you offer at least one piece of juicy gossip to help The 5th Wheel feel better about itself?
HENRY: Tenor Fred Farrell consumes three baby seals before lunch every day. He says they taste a little like bald eagle, but not as gamey. (I think it's only fair to inform you that Greenpeace HAS been notified of this new information given to The 5th Wheel. "Hey Farrell, don't be surprised if one day you look out your front window and a 162ft sea yacht called "The Arctic Sunrise" is moored to your mailbox." Peace out, Brother!)
5THWHEEL: You are juggling so many things in your life: A top level quartet, directing a world champion chorus, music teacher of a college and raising a family at the same time. Have you ever thought of dropping one of these commitments to make more room in your life? Seeing your love for music and how lucrative it has been financially for you, it would make sense to ditch the family, right?
HENRY: You've been reading my diary again. (Yes I have, and there are some interesting entries in the diary about you and your odd relationship with arranger, David Wright. But don't worry, I can keep a secret.)
5THWHEEL: If David Wright didn't exist, do you believe you still would of had the same successes in life?
HENRY: Not only would I not have the same successes, I wouldn't be alive! Many people don't realize that I am David Wright's love child. (DUDE, FISHED IN! I totally hooked you on that one! HAHA!)
5THWHEEL: The Lead of your quartet is Mike Slamka from the 2003 "Three-Way" Quartet Champion, Power Play (Power Play only won one round of competition. Gotcha! and Metropolis won the other two rounds. Only a third of that gold medal belongs to Mike.). What was the loophole you found in the contract binding him from ever singing with anyone OTHER than a Slamka?
HENRY: Not a loophole really; they simply released Mike when they discovered that he wasn't really a Slamka at all. It turns out he is actually David Wright's love child. As for his one-third of a gold medal, the other three members of Crossroads made it clear to Mike that he could only continue with us if he won the other two-thirds. Thanks, O.C. Times!! (David Wright had ANOTHER love child? Boy, the man sure was busy in college. I guess he's repaying his mistakes in life by giving you free arrangements? No wonder he lends so much support to Crossroads. Two of his sons are in the quartet. )
5THWHEEL: When is Crossroads expecting to make its first CD and if so, will The 5th Wheel get a free copy for all the free publicity, both positive and negative (mostly negative) we've given you?
HENRY: We are working on a CD, due in the Spring of 2009. And, no. (Great news... Jerk.)
BONUS QUESTION: Barbara Walters, a HUGE fan of The 5th Wheel and an "apparent" fan of Crossroads (Hasn't been confirmed), begged me to allow her to ask you just one question. She kissed my ring and I granted her one request. Barbara wants to know… What makes you cry? HENRY: Thinking about the valuable time I've squandered answering these stupid questions. Now, does this satisfy you?!? Does it???? Then leave me alone already. Stop calling my cell phone. Stop coming to my house. Stop going through my garbage cans. I don't need to remind you that the restraining order is still in effect! You leech! You PARASITE!!! (All my love, Jim) (You don't mean that now, do you?)
5THWHEEL: Thank you Jim, er.. I mean "Dr." for this enlightening interview about your life. Nothing makes headlines more than talking about having children out of wedlock, devouring endangered animals and bagging on Metropolis. Hopefully, we can do this again sometime. What do you say? Hello?
HENRY: (dial tone...)
5THWHEEL: Great... well... goodbye.
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MAKING OF: Intimate Conversation
The 5th Wheel contacted Jim Henry about the idea of doing an interview. After several, straight to voice mail contacts, and sending threatening letters to his family, Henry and his lawyers finally agreed. The 5th Wheel wanted to make this interview as "professional" as possible.
With that in mind, we called fellow journalist, Charles Gibson from ABC News and asked if we could borrow his eyeglasses which he used for the Sarah Palin interview. After being extremely reluctant to remove the glasses from his personal "Museum of Oddities", Gibson finally caved in and mailed them to me. Unfortunately, when I opened the package the glasses slipped out, landing on the ground. As I bent over to pick them up, my chronic case of vertigo suddenly kicked in. I stepped forward to correct my balance and, CRACK... I accidentally stepped on his glasses, crushing them to pieces. Darn it! Now I can't look down at Henry and have that "smug" look! Fortunately, due to Jim's lack of stature, that won't be a problem.
I packed my bags and headed to the airport. However, when I went to check in I didn't have a reservation. I told the attendant at the front counter I have a confirmation number. The attendant explained that the confirmation was only for a 24 hour online reservation. The 5th Wheel was bummed that we couldn't make the trip to St. Louis. On the bright side, we saved $300 in a plane ticket, $80 in a hotel room +$30 in late night movies, and $40 in a rental car.
Instead of a live interview, The 5th Wheel was forced to do the interview from the home office.
The 5th Wheel is grateful for Dr. Henry's involvement in the interview and wish him, Crossroads, The Ambassadors, his family and his dad David Wright, all the very best.
Photos courtesy of Dan Proctor and photographed by Lorin May.
1 comment:
So good......
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